Entry 9: Mellow Depressing Monday

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy with thwarting the mean pussy and basically, being a dog. I've had conventions, top secret meetings (which I am forbidden to reveal information). Either way, I have decided (since I am always so busy,) to write weekly--which could turn into every two - weekly.

Anyways, what's new with me, and why is it Mellow Depressing Monday? Well, I was inside ALL weekend because of bad weather (thanks to my rain-dances :) ] and I had to be outside today. And it was hot as the dickens, let me tell you--not to mention the hickory nuts that fell from the trees and hit me :(. And, when I got inside for awhile, the mean pussy was up to no good: pouncing, biting, scratching, chasing, stealing, and mocking. But things started to lighten up when my family played with me--especially with my Patrick. (My favorite toy)

Anyway, I hope you have a great rest of the week!

Much Love,

Maggie

P.S. Vintage Girl and I are going to "share" (she won't be posting, she just takes all the pictures) this blog since I model for her :)

Entry 8: Frantic Friday

Dear Diary,

Today was indeed frantic. My big daddy was working on the porch all day, and I was stuck outside with all the racket. I enjoyed being out there with him, just not the noise. It was scary, the drilling and sawing and hammering and the occasional cursing! Oh, and not to mention that mean cat was taunting me as he sat in front of the sliding glass door.

Well, on the plus side, I received a message saying there is a Kibble Convention where we try out different kibbles and dog treats. It's my favorite. We have the Kibble Convention twice a year, at the NCCC (National Canine Convention Center). I'm very excited, all us dogs are. Oh and President Duke will be there, he's so dreamy!!

Well Folks, I think I'll get some rest. The Kibble Convention is all day Saturday AND Sunday!

Much Love and Franticness,
Maggie

Entry 7: Tubular Thursday

Dear Diary,

I am very sorry I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy with many doggie things, like elections, meetings, conventions, etc. The president currently is a very smart dog by the name of Duke. You know, Duke from the Baked Bean commercials? I did indeed vote for him, he had a great campaign: Vote for me, and I'll finally find out that secret recipe! He had more to it, but I thought that was the best part. I've always wanted to fin out what the secret recipe is! Every dog does; and he's a hunk too!

Well, I had a jolly Christmas. I got 2 bones that I have already eaten. Oh wait, my Christmas wasn't as jolly. My stupid Step-Uncle brought this froofy little poodle he was babysitting. Ugh the nerve of that dog! She was doing the "oh-I'm-so-pitiful-and-scared-and-I'm-shaking-in-fright!" The Nerve! So naturally I became a yappy dog, and I have been told I am not yappy, but I became yappy! My daddy eventually took me upstairs to my human brother's room where I nervously walked around and did a round-about checking for food (although there was no food) but thats not the point. I could not believe this dog had run me out of my own kitchen! I was soon accompanied by my human brother and my little momma. I calmed down and before I knew it, that poodle was in the crate and I was in the kitchen again! I was so proud to claim my land back!

Well, I think I'll play with my toys and get some sleep, G'Nite

Much Love and Tubularness,
Maggie

Entry 6: Sorrowful Saturday

Today, my friends, is my late brother's birthday. It has hit me pretty hard, and I cannot seem to bring myself to not be sad. He was my buddy, my brother, my happy-go-lucky-pal-during the rough times. Yes, he was the dog of a lifetime, or so I have heard from my owners.

It has also hit my little momma hard too. I saw her crying earlier this evening and I felt crushed. I licked away her tears and tried to tell her, all though no human can hear me, hence the whole purpose of this "blog", that I was going through the same pain. Poor thing, I think all of my humans are torn up about it. My daddy is at some "college reunion" or what ever that is. All I know is that my little momma and my human brother have been feeding me rather than him.

Ok so here is how my day went: I stayed inside until after midday. As soon as I was let outside, I bounded around to my grounds to make sure no other animal or dog had tried to take over. No way was another dog or that stupid pussy gonna take MY property. I slept and played with squirrels and little rabbits. I then played with the neighbors and with my little momma and was as happy as can be. Before I knew it, dusk was approaching and I was let back inside and fed my dinner. I played with my toys some, and slept, then went to the bathroom and played again. For the rest of the night, I layed in my dirty clothes pile and slept.

I have just awoken to type this entry and forgot to mention that I haven't been writing much because (as you know) dogs have memory problems, and I had almost completely forgotten until today when I was thinking of my sweet, happy, brother. I think I'll go back to sleep and dream on, for my big momma mentioned "day light savings" and said that we get another "hour" of sleep. All I know is this means I can sleep longer and stay inside longer.

Much Love and Sweet Dreams,
Maggie

Entry 5: Sunny Sunday

Dear Diary,

Howdy! Long time no type! I have BIG news! All last week I was a model for some website for doggie dresses and tees! I was very excited and tried on so many things I can't remember most of them. I'll describe a few for you. The first one was dark brown with pink poka dots. It was ruffly too, and itchy. I tried on another one that was white with green and blue flowers on it, and blue ruffles on the bottom. I loved it, it was so darn comfy! The other one I remember was yellow with pink and purple flowers on it; it was pretty comfy too! I tried on a lot of tees too. Here are some I tried on: "Cute as a (button on the back)", "Bark for a cure (a pink ribbon was on it too)", "Super Model", "Yappy Hour, "Desperate Housedogs", and "Looking for a Brad Pittbull". I didn't know what half of them meant, but I tried them on and they took their photos.

They let me take home a dress, and I took the white one. I went home and played in it all afternoon and slept in it. Now I have two dresses! HIP HIP HOORAAAAYYYY!!!!


To answer some questions from Big Lobo:

1. Probably so since I looked up the word "lobo"
2. No I am not afraid of him...he is just a little too wild for me.
3. Yes she throws a ball or a toy and I bring it back. My late brother would go fetch it but wouldn't bring it back.
4. I'm not too spoiled for a Yorkie. Yorkies generally sleep on silk pillows with dangly things on the corners and eat out of a crystal bowl. I sleep on a pile of dirty clothes and eat out of a bowl that my young momma painted my name on it. I live a simple life...I suppose.

Today wasn't too exciting though. I stayed inside for most of the day and played with the mean pussy (I know shocking right?!?) I went outside and slept in the bunker and ate berries and flowers. I played with my neighbors and chased squirrels. I ate my dinner inside and went back out for a little bit. I came back in, put my dress on and played and slept for the rest of the night.

I finally tired out and went to my dirty clothes pile for a full night's sleep.

Much luv and Sunnyness,
Maggie

Entry 4: Terrific Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Today was definitely "Terrific Tuesday"! I got to stay inside all day long! I was very happy and got to sleep in the mean pussy's bed too. I got doggy treats and to play with my toys the whole day! No one bothered to put me out because my big daddy and momma left this morning talking about going to someone's house. And my little momma read the whole morning and my human brother slept through the morning. At midday they both came down and ate their food they call "lunch" and argued about something. The mean pussy came down and started rooting around on my peepee papers. My little momma came over and got mad at him and put him over the gate and told him to go eat his food. Of course, him being the mean and stubborn pussy that he is, he jumped right over and buried himself in the papers again. I was enjoying this show. Finally my young momma put him over the gate and closed the door. He started mee-ooww-ing and scratching at the door. My young momma and human brother laughed and continued their "lunch". They left and I was sad and alone...but not for long because I was joined by the mean pussy for a long battle with chasing and barking/hissing and scratching and biting. He finally left when he got hungry and thank the kibble he left.

I was exhausted and slept in the mean puss's bed for a long time and was awakened by my little momma when she came down and picked me up, (bed and all) and carried me up to her room. She petted me and we watched the glow box. It was a lot of fun and I fell asleep in my bed next to her on her bed. She woke me up and mentioned something about needing to go somewhere. And then she put me back downstairs. I didn't see her or anyone for a few moments and then she came down followed by my big momma. (I figured she and my big daddy came home when I was asleep and I didn't notice.) Then my human brother came down and they left somewhere. I slept and played with my toys and had my dinner.

Much later, my little momma and my big momma and my human brother came home together. For the rest of the night I slept happily and had a Terrific "Tuesday"!

Much luv and Terrificnesses, (?!?!?)
Maggie

Entry 3: Manic Monday

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was pretty grey. (the sky I mean) It looks like it today too. My best friends still haven't come out...

This morning was a normal Monday (as you humans call them.). My young momma left my pink dress on me last night and I slept comfortably. But when the sun rose, my young momma tried to take it off of me. I was mad and ran around barking "No! NOOOO!" and finally gave in when I was cornered. Then she plopped me outside...another long day, I guessed.

It was 4:45 and the Whurperts STILL hadn't come out to see me. I was very sad and moped around in the backyard. The occasional times that I came up to the porch, the mean pussy was sitting by the door saying "Nanner Nanner boo boo, I'm in and you're out" and would scratch at the window. I'd get mad and growl and snarl at the window and my young momma would take the mean puss up stairs. I need therapy, (that's what the border collie said who lives in the house behind me.) she knows everything about "therapy" and continued to strongly recommend it. I agreed, still not knowing who to talk to. Finally when the Whurperts came out, I ran to Cheetah, and asked her about "therapy" and all the sadness I was going through. She told me it will all work out on it's own, and I didn't need to have therapy. She assured me that something happy and Buh-reerififc would happen and it would make me forget about my little puppy problems.

Soon enough it was nighttime and I was exhausted. I chased these pretty flying things for a long time and then I would sleep in the bunker. I would soon be awakened by the howl of what sounded like a coyote. I had heard of these things through the barking chain, (a famous chain in which every dog in the world sends out a message and is sent to another dog and another and so on) but it didn't register that they were in my neighborhood!!?! I quickly hid in fright in my bunker. It howled again, and it was closer. I ran to the door and started yelping and barking as loud as I possibly could. Again...it howled...and even closer! My big daddy came in and let me in. I was so happy to be inside and not attacked by the coyote!

For the rest of the night I was happy as can be, and went to sleep peacefully!

Much Luv and Gratitude,
Maggie

Entry 2: Love and Support

Dear Diary,

I received some of my first comments! Buh-Reer ( this means I am excited or mad or anything) I was informed by a loud dingy noise and startled me during my sleeping on my fave dirty clothes early this morning when my (what you humans call this silver thing) "lap top" was awakening. I will answer some of the comments:

1. I sleep on the dirty clothes because they smell like my human family and I love them very much.
2. I do need my own clothes! I have a pink little dress that my young momma bought me 2 weeks ago. I love it very much and it's very comfy.
3. Don't forget you are reading a DOG'S blog and it may take me awhile to get the swing of this blog.

Thanks to Windfall Woman, I have received some of my own regular readers. I read her blog and if you haven't read it, you need to! If I knew how to put a link from her blog I would.

Today was a very frustrating day. I was sent out early this morning before I could do my business on my papers. I barked at a squirrel and chased it into my barking post (the woodpile in my backyard). I got very mad and growled at it but didn't notice that the squirrel had already escaped to his tree. I growled for awhile longer until my young momma put a piece of bread out onto the porch and my hunger took over my viciousness. I saw the mean pussy looking at the slice and I barked angrily and growled at him all the way up the stairs to the porch. He backed away but warned me it wasn't over yet, and was picked up and brought inside.

I waited for my best friends to come out and rolled around in some bushes and snorted around in a pile of leaves. When they finally came out, they told me they couldn't stay out for long because a storm was coming. I got excited because a storm means I get to come inside and stay inside extra long. The Whurperts (The 5 Italian Greyhounds. Whurperts is their nickname)were called back inside to be bathed. I was left alone with my sad but optimistic conscious.

The wind picked up and I was blown over. I continued to pant and stare at the sky in hopes of rain. I tried my rain dance (This is a dance I do when I want it to rain that consists of jumping and running around in circles and the lovable stand - on - 2 - paws gesture.) with little success. I received some thunder and more wind. I continued this dance until I grew tired and flopped on the weeds. More and longer thunder came with stronger winds. I stayed low and all the sudden heard the sliding door open! I crawled on my bellums (my belly) to the porch so I wouldn't get knocked over. I galloped inside only to be greeted by the horrible pussy kat. "Sweet revenge" he said. To make him mad sckronkled (a combination of digging and panting and growling and rolling) in his bed. He walked over and poked me with his paw. I got mad and leaped out of his bed and grabbed the pink furry dog dog toy that he loves and showed it off in front of him. He grabbed me neck with his paw and I slung the pink dog out of my mouth and growled and tackled him. I backed off when he dug his nails into my tummy! I grabbed the pink dog and brought it over to my young momma. She played with me for awhile and then the mean pussy attacked again I chased him over to the pantry and then he doubled back swinging his paws at me. I hid in his bed and he left me alone.

After much fighting and chasing. I did my walkabout (I walk aimlessly around the kitchen doing nothing) and begged to be brushed. I was rewarded with a full on brush from my young momma and showed off in front of the mean pussy. He jumped over the gate (this gate blocks me from going anywhere else in the house except for the kitchen and the laundry room.) and went into the den knowing he was defeated.

I finally retired to my clothes pile as the storm picked up to sleep before dinner. I dreamt of the mean pussy and doggy treats. I woke to a big roll of booming (thunder I suppose...I am terrified of thunder and lightening ) and a strike of lightening. I got up in deperate search for human company and saw my young momma sitting at the table typing on her "lap top". My big daddy ( the eldest male human in the family) was watching the glow box and rubbing the mean pussy. I begged my young momma to play with me. She stopped typing and grabbed the pink dog and threw it accross the kitchen. The mean pussy heard us playing and had to steal the attention. She pushed him away when he lunged for my bottom and he retreated to under the desk in the kitchen. He waited in his pounce position and galloped accross the kitchen to attack me. I returned his ambush and was soon yelled at by my young momma. The mean pussy retreated and truced for the rest of the night. I agreed and he went to the water bowl. I did some more walkabouting, and hid under my young momma's chair when their was a roll of booming and a flashing crack. I begged her to let me sit on her lap while she typed. She let me and loved on me while the storm continued. I kissed her on the arm and on her chin. My big daddy went out to the garage with my food bowl and soon returned with it. My young momma put me on the floor so I could eat.

After Dinner I retired to my pile and went to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.

Much Luv and Thanks,

Maggie